SxLv and Simplicity was an incredible session. Perphaps one of my favorites so far. I approached the evening from a space of service, joy and clarity. I had but ONE intention, keep command of the discussion: excavate. Don't go off on too many tangents, focus on the topic, and offer Points of Consideration as takeaways. As SxLvTlk grows, I realize there are a few things about it that scare the hell out of me.
One of those things is the highly personal nature of this work, another is the fact that it forces me to examine my own actions and intentions, the biggest fear perhaps is that I absolutely love being used to "Speak the Unspokens" and am surprised when someone is impacted on an inner level by the talk. Its incredible to me. Every time someone says,"Thank You" I am amazed. Probably because I know the Oshun and Yemaya of it. (I refer to Oshun as the party and Yemaya as the work to make the party happen if I'm at a loss for a really quick and dirty explanation of these powers.)
Insights I gained from the last session, incredibly lively and profound were the following:
1. Each person's experience, while unique to them, contains overlapping qualities that allow for group consenus, this helps gauge validity of challenges and moments of triumph.
2. Love IS absolutely alive and wanted in the Black & Brown community, but some of us have wandered a bit off course from the family/community building part,
3. We may need to return to Courtship and Counsel before we make any irreversible lovechoices.
With that, this past week forced me to examine incongruence between my "Ms. Sherry" and my "Black Woman working to have the life she desires and deserves." I have made firm decisions regarding where I want to be in regard to life and love projects. I have identified my perfect him, I have even written my list and re-defined my non-negotiables. I have maintained a vibrational frequency to which he must resonate in order to not only find me, but keep my attention long enough to curry my favor.
Why then has every other energy found a way to contact me and request not only conversation, but audience?
Initially, I thought it was because the Creator didn't agree with my decision and was presenting other options for me to explore. I investigated the energies and upon conclusion of said investigations, I laughed. I realized there were areas I have grown in and certain things, I just cannot entertain. I am definitely on a different road. The love projects I take on at this point, have to match and compliment the woman I am and become. They must be pure and simple. Through this, I can call the sacred. THAT is what i strive to achieve in my love. While this is different, THIS is what builds self, supports the beloved and lays foundation for longevity. I have experienced bright bursts of ecstasy that have burned out mostly due to my inability to bend love's lens toward an angle that would refract rather than reflect or diffuse luminosity. I now stretch my arms wide and trust my vision and judgment so that prisms find me and turn my white light into rainbows.
I no longer place the responsibility for my happiness on others and have trained myself in the feeling of happiness, purpose and joy. As I fail to get the responses that provide me with encouragement to proceed, I actively search for the good in this regard. I was expecting a call that didn't come for some time. Anxiety began to set in and I refused to let my emotions push me into a tailspin of explosive reaction. What I did do was, search my mind for all the examples I knew that invalidated my anxiety and gave myself a "spoonful of sugar". While my emotions said, "The call hasn't come because he doesn't want us," my mind shot back, "NO. God has given us someone who loves us to the degree that he makes sure he is in alignment with his best self before he shares our company." This was no small task. After 3 failed long-term relationships I was left with incredible doubts regarding my desirability and womanhood. Particulary wondering about the proverbial "they"; "I know "they" think I can't keep a man.", "I know they probably wonder what's wrong with me.", "They probably think I'm loose," and while this may or may not be true, it isn't "their" responsibility to make my life work, it's mine.
These worries didn't serve me well, nor did they get me to the place I needed to be to see the changes I made manifest. I kept not only my new train of thought, but also the memories of the innocence that welled up in me when I thought of the caller, and the giggles he drew out of me. He called up my girl and in her lives my faith in what is possible...she is the dreamer of me. I had to challenge my internal "they" and strengthen my resolve to build Me, with this...I could forge new tools to lay new roads to walk upon. Lesson?
Keep it simple. The big things we want: good health, financial security, loving mates, productive, innovative children are created from the small choices we make. Consistently check your perspective, challenge your negative, self-protective thoughts. Trust your instincts and your growth. You won't make the same mistakes if you've been paying attention. Appreciate the opportunity to learn, grow and change. The blessing of Simplicity is its pure access to the gateway of the Sacred.
One of those things is the highly personal nature of this work, another is the fact that it forces me to examine my own actions and intentions, the biggest fear perhaps is that I absolutely love being used to "Speak the Unspokens" and am surprised when someone is impacted on an inner level by the talk. Its incredible to me. Every time someone says,"Thank You" I am amazed. Probably because I know the Oshun and Yemaya of it. (I refer to Oshun as the party and Yemaya as the work to make the party happen if I'm at a loss for a really quick and dirty explanation of these powers.)
Insights I gained from the last session, incredibly lively and profound were the following:
1. Each person's experience, while unique to them, contains overlapping qualities that allow for group consenus, this helps gauge validity of challenges and moments of triumph.
2. Love IS absolutely alive and wanted in the Black & Brown community, but some of us have wandered a bit off course from the family/community building part,
3. We may need to return to Courtship and Counsel before we make any irreversible lovechoices.
With that, this past week forced me to examine incongruence between my "Ms. Sherry" and my "Black Woman working to have the life she desires and deserves." I have made firm decisions regarding where I want to be in regard to life and love projects. I have identified my perfect him, I have even written my list and re-defined my non-negotiables. I have maintained a vibrational frequency to which he must resonate in order to not only find me, but keep my attention long enough to curry my favor.
Why then has every other energy found a way to contact me and request not only conversation, but audience?
Initially, I thought it was because the Creator didn't agree with my decision and was presenting other options for me to explore. I investigated the energies and upon conclusion of said investigations, I laughed. I realized there were areas I have grown in and certain things, I just cannot entertain. I am definitely on a different road. The love projects I take on at this point, have to match and compliment the woman I am and become. They must be pure and simple. Through this, I can call the sacred. THAT is what i strive to achieve in my love. While this is different, THIS is what builds self, supports the beloved and lays foundation for longevity. I have experienced bright bursts of ecstasy that have burned out mostly due to my inability to bend love's lens toward an angle that would refract rather than reflect or diffuse luminosity. I now stretch my arms wide and trust my vision and judgment so that prisms find me and turn my white light into rainbows.
I no longer place the responsibility for my happiness on others and have trained myself in the feeling of happiness, purpose and joy. As I fail to get the responses that provide me with encouragement to proceed, I actively search for the good in this regard. I was expecting a call that didn't come for some time. Anxiety began to set in and I refused to let my emotions push me into a tailspin of explosive reaction. What I did do was, search my mind for all the examples I knew that invalidated my anxiety and gave myself a "spoonful of sugar". While my emotions said, "The call hasn't come because he doesn't want us," my mind shot back, "NO. God has given us someone who loves us to the degree that he makes sure he is in alignment with his best self before he shares our company." This was no small task. After 3 failed long-term relationships I was left with incredible doubts regarding my desirability and womanhood. Particulary wondering about the proverbial "they"; "I know "they" think I can't keep a man.", "I know they probably wonder what's wrong with me.", "They probably think I'm loose," and while this may or may not be true, it isn't "their" responsibility to make my life work, it's mine.
These worries didn't serve me well, nor did they get me to the place I needed to be to see the changes I made manifest. I kept not only my new train of thought, but also the memories of the innocence that welled up in me when I thought of the caller, and the giggles he drew out of me. He called up my girl and in her lives my faith in what is possible...she is the dreamer of me. I had to challenge my internal "they" and strengthen my resolve to build Me, with this...I could forge new tools to lay new roads to walk upon. Lesson?
Keep it simple. The big things we want: good health, financial security, loving mates, productive, innovative children are created from the small choices we make. Consistently check your perspective, challenge your negative, self-protective thoughts. Trust your instincts and your growth. You won't make the same mistakes if you've been paying attention. Appreciate the opportunity to learn, grow and change. The blessing of Simplicity is its pure access to the gateway of the Sacred.
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