Amazing the way they
Take air Inhale and figure out how to
make emotion take sound
fly upon the wings of
the unspoken
Push forward the essence of this
world
the reasons we move and
in spite of ourselves make
decisions based on flesh
and the visions we wield behind
closed lids
the way the diaphragm contorts
itself to shake the sides of
one's spirit
and make it scream
YES YES YES I release
the proper
the moral
the controlled
the expected
Air Sound teasing touch
making it humble to the
sacred and be
OPEN
SxLvTlk
SxLvTlk: Know Your Grey
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Stop Begging
The best thing we can do is love our life. The way we show this love is by living the best life we are capable of. In the moments leading up to this one, I am realizing that I have done a mixed job of it. There have been wonderful moments of revelation and ecstasy, oh yes, ecstasy and there have been moments of absolute defeat and despair. In this, the despair has never been the primary cause of me doing anything simply because it was through the despair that I was able to figure out how I had either betrayed myself or allowed myself to be influenced by opinions other than my own. The Creator, if we allow It to, speaks with us on a continuous and regular basis. I have had a history of having a very direct link to this wonderful source of Energy, Inspiration, Protection and Witness that has only been blocked when I have allowed other sounds to ring more loudly than my own voice and the Voice. I have learned to Stop Begging.
When I speak of Begging, I am talking about exhibiting those behaviors that show the world that we do not find ourselves worthy of what we desire. It does not matter if the object of desire is a loved one, a job, a friendship, or admittance to an elite (perceived as) group, the issue is the same. Most often, we are working to prove that we deserve what we want. This is not necessary simply because, we exist. This existence alone comes with a certain entitlement, this because desire is the thing that brings more life. In The Science of Getting Rich by Wattle, desire is described as the fullness of more life. What moves the world, this life forward is our ability to stretch beyond what we think we are capable of. This yearning is what brings about advancement. The yearning, is where we truly find the depth of ourselves and the depth of Love. When we encounter blockages, sometimes it is because our desires have been overruled and the thing sought may very well indeed bring more trouble than joy and progress. The old teaching of forcing people to accept us does not in this day and time serve us. Begging will never bring respect from the people begged from. It sends a message that the Holder of the Desired Object has something that is inaccessible to the Beggar. This, in and of itself gives the Holder, Power over the Beggar. The problem with this is the Beggar will then make decisions from a place of panic, rather than a place of power. In this exchange, the Beggar will Never be successful, because the Holder will always be able to change the terms and conditions for obtaining the object sought. This does not serve Life and only wastes time, effort and energy. Wack. Rather than beg for recognition and acceptance, Understand the inherent worth one holds simply by the fact that they draw breath. THAT in and of ITSELF is a MIRACLE.
If you love living, you must prove it by the way you live. Are you being the Best Self Possible, shining your gifts upon the world, or are you Begging for permission to come from behind the clouds? Define the terms of your happiness, decide what brings you joy, determine what will keep you safe. As always, Know Your Grey
When I speak of Begging, I am talking about exhibiting those behaviors that show the world that we do not find ourselves worthy of what we desire. It does not matter if the object of desire is a loved one, a job, a friendship, or admittance to an elite (perceived as) group, the issue is the same. Most often, we are working to prove that we deserve what we want. This is not necessary simply because, we exist. This existence alone comes with a certain entitlement, this because desire is the thing that brings more life. In The Science of Getting Rich by Wattle, desire is described as the fullness of more life. What moves the world, this life forward is our ability to stretch beyond what we think we are capable of. This yearning is what brings about advancement. The yearning, is where we truly find the depth of ourselves and the depth of Love. When we encounter blockages, sometimes it is because our desires have been overruled and the thing sought may very well indeed bring more trouble than joy and progress. The old teaching of forcing people to accept us does not in this day and time serve us. Begging will never bring respect from the people begged from. It sends a message that the Holder of the Desired Object has something that is inaccessible to the Beggar. This, in and of itself gives the Holder, Power over the Beggar. The problem with this is the Beggar will then make decisions from a place of panic, rather than a place of power. In this exchange, the Beggar will Never be successful, because the Holder will always be able to change the terms and conditions for obtaining the object sought. This does not serve Life and only wastes time, effort and energy. Wack. Rather than beg for recognition and acceptance, Understand the inherent worth one holds simply by the fact that they draw breath. THAT in and of ITSELF is a MIRACLE.
If you love living, you must prove it by the way you live. Are you being the Best Self Possible, shining your gifts upon the world, or are you Begging for permission to come from behind the clouds? Define the terms of your happiness, decide what brings you joy, determine what will keep you safe. As always, Know Your Grey
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Imperfect Essentials
I am secretly reveling in the fact that I have not declared a public campaign or thrust myself into a major self-promoting plug rampage. I have remained true to my mission and I have been quite introspective regarding this blog, SxLvTlk and Smart<3Tlk. The overall premise of me being the Black Love Advocate is my desire to see beautiful unions between people, but moreso, beautiful unions between people and their hearts, missions and psyches. I have been in many conversations with people about SxLvTlk and the reason why it exists. The primary questions people ask are, "Are you married or in a committed relationship?" and "Are you a relationship expert?" My answer to the first is a resounding, "Yes," and my answer to the second is , "Absolutely not." The journey is on-going. It strikes people as funny that a person who labels herself the Black Love Advocate is not in a marriage or committed love relationship. I don't think it should if we are being honest. No relationship is stagnant. All relationships, legally recognized, informally agreed upon and consumated go through changes. I am thoroughly incomplete from the perspective that I am in process and am always working to understand who I become and how my lovestyle, desires, wants and non-negotiables redefine and reform themselves. I have been fortunate in that I always am changing and growing. I welcome the expansion, even when the actual molding is uncomfortable. Most often, only what is absolutely essential remains. This too, is true of SxLvTlk.
SxLvTlk began as an idea in 2007. Inspired by Dr. Joy DeGruy-Leary, Jawanza Kunjufu, Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis and my grandparents, I wondered what happened that I could not name 10 couples that had been together for 5 or more years, majority of those years being happy. I worked my idea a few different ways, specifying as I went. Should the lien be jovial? Should it be like a workshop? Should I have panelists? Should it be like a therapy session? Should the focus be carnal? Do I take the lead or be more of a background player? I hammered out a basic format that I shared with the world on May 15, 2009, in the Bronx. The first session was, "Breaking Ice and Breaking Through." Since then, SxLvTlk has changed a bit, becoming a healthy mix of conversation, game night, cocktail party, and visiting with people who become friends. As we enter our fourth season, there are some things that I have come to accept as well as embrace.
1. People require time and connection. This meaning, something that has changed is the amount of time we are willing to invest in truly getting to understand ourselves and others. I'm always amazed by the responses I receive from simply remembering people's names and making phone calls to follow-up.
2. I will always approach discussions from a carnal and spiritual place. I am not unable to separate the two. The quest for union with the Divine is eternal, the way we give expression to that energy is through the material. As quickly as I say, "Ache", I can say, "Damn that." I don't see contradiction there, simply because I am unable to limit the ability of spirit to Move. I will say, some situations require more of one and less of the other.
3. The freedom that draws people to me, may keep them from my program. As I accept my idiosyncrasies and understand my motivations, my filter for fronting thins. The polite veneer adopted to make oneself palatable is not always the way by which I speak or live my truth. My choices are my own, I take responsibility for them, and in return I, Live and Let Live. I don't think everything is alright, but I acknowledge that I do not have the right to dictate to others what is right to them.
4. Discomfort usually means a nerve has been hit. I used to try and minimize conflict during SxLvTlk sessions, however, I have come to understand conflict can be used to help those having the conflict shift perspective and grow to broader understanding. It is often much more comfortable to remain in our boxes, than to round out our bends into a circle.
5. I rock the heck out of personal contact, seeing spirits and helping people recognize their strengths. Oh yes, I have a very, very good ability to see people. I am able to hear what they say, empathize and analyze, celebrate and select. It is one of the things I've been blessed with. For better or worse, I am able to pinpoint for others, missteps and help them get themselves back on track. Even those who "spitefully use and rebuke you." This, however, has helped me define my purpose and the rhythm I want my discussions to move on, and spirit I want them to embody.
With that, be on the look out for more personal contact from Ms. Sherry, Black Love Advocate and be prepared to open your mind and share the insights, questions and learnings of your soul, body and mind on this journey called, Life. In the words of my Madrina, "Life is not a dress rehearsal."
SxLvTlk began as an idea in 2007. Inspired by Dr. Joy DeGruy-Leary, Jawanza Kunjufu, Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis and my grandparents, I wondered what happened that I could not name 10 couples that had been together for 5 or more years, majority of those years being happy. I worked my idea a few different ways, specifying as I went. Should the lien be jovial? Should it be like a workshop? Should I have panelists? Should it be like a therapy session? Should the focus be carnal? Do I take the lead or be more of a background player? I hammered out a basic format that I shared with the world on May 15, 2009, in the Bronx. The first session was, "Breaking Ice and Breaking Through." Since then, SxLvTlk has changed a bit, becoming a healthy mix of conversation, game night, cocktail party, and visiting with people who become friends. As we enter our fourth season, there are some things that I have come to accept as well as embrace.
1. People require time and connection. This meaning, something that has changed is the amount of time we are willing to invest in truly getting to understand ourselves and others. I'm always amazed by the responses I receive from simply remembering people's names and making phone calls to follow-up.
2. I will always approach discussions from a carnal and spiritual place. I am not unable to separate the two. The quest for union with the Divine is eternal, the way we give expression to that energy is through the material. As quickly as I say, "Ache", I can say, "Damn that." I don't see contradiction there, simply because I am unable to limit the ability of spirit to Move. I will say, some situations require more of one and less of the other.
3. The freedom that draws people to me, may keep them from my program. As I accept my idiosyncrasies and understand my motivations, my filter for fronting thins. The polite veneer adopted to make oneself palatable is not always the way by which I speak or live my truth. My choices are my own, I take responsibility for them, and in return I, Live and Let Live. I don't think everything is alright, but I acknowledge that I do not have the right to dictate to others what is right to them.
4. Discomfort usually means a nerve has been hit. I used to try and minimize conflict during SxLvTlk sessions, however, I have come to understand conflict can be used to help those having the conflict shift perspective and grow to broader understanding. It is often much more comfortable to remain in our boxes, than to round out our bends into a circle.
5. I rock the heck out of personal contact, seeing spirits and helping people recognize their strengths. Oh yes, I have a very, very good ability to see people. I am able to hear what they say, empathize and analyze, celebrate and select. It is one of the things I've been blessed with. For better or worse, I am able to pinpoint for others, missteps and help them get themselves back on track. Even those who "spitefully use and rebuke you." This, however, has helped me define my purpose and the rhythm I want my discussions to move on, and spirit I want them to embody.
With that, be on the look out for more personal contact from Ms. Sherry, Black Love Advocate and be prepared to open your mind and share the insights, questions and learnings of your soul, body and mind on this journey called, Life. In the words of my Madrina, "Life is not a dress rehearsal."
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