Perception is Reality

I did it. In my attempt to be witty and cute, I sent a friend a message that was intercepted by his significant other. Completely innocent, however, it fanned flames that I'm sure more than a little bit of water was required to quench. Even upon speaking with the young woman, I could hear the agitation, frustration and suspicion thick in the air. Even after hearing him tell me pretty much to "hit the bricks" I knew things were not well in Wonderland. I hung up the phone and was amazed that I had gotten a telephone call that catapulted me back to adolescence. Initially, I was in disbelief, but then I realized a few things:
1. I've been that woman whose man had female friends- one of them even innocently called my house. I was told, "She's just someone I get nice with." I didn't believe it and low and behold, she is my son's sister's mother (yes, it is as confusing as it reads). Yes, men (and women) can have alternative agendas and yes, sometimes women do disregard the fact that a man is involved and creep with him anyway.
2. Sometimes what it looks like IS EXACTLY what it is... and
3. In the words of Randy Pausch, author of the Last Lecture, "It's unlucky, but it's not unfair."
Someone probably deserved that "scream on", unfortunately, in this wrong case, it happened to be me,
4. You take care of what matters to you.

This last may be the reason why my own love relationships have had varying degrees of success in the extreme. I'm not that woman. I don't call women, or check e-mail accounts, or pick up phones reading text messages. I think this has often made the men I've been involved with think two things: I didn't care about them, and I was doing my own "dirt."
Perception and perspective are relative to experience and understanding. Neither of which has been the case. It just isn't my style. Interestingly enough, it was this same person who taught me when you look for trouble, you will definitely find it. Never quite being socially adept, I realize my naivete in these situations in regard to protocol. More than that, I realize that technology has assisted people in their ability to have lives and relationships completely separate from what they experience in waking reality. As the BlackLove Advocate, I realize that I have to be much more sensitive and much more acute in my outreach--even in my own (no pun intended) affairs.

In any case, I've decided to be much more accountable for decisions I make and how I choose to communicate with people by asking three simple questions:
1. How can this message be perceived?
2. What is the intention of this message?
3. If it is received incorrectly, am I able to deal with the negative feedback which
may result? I am thinking this mini-checklist will prevent me from having any repeat manifestations of this instance. As you all know, that which we do not learn, we repeat. Why? Because the Universe, God, the Creator, et. al want to make sure we make choices that allow us to live the lives we were created to, without being distracted, or being distractions.

REALLY, these guys are just my friends. No, really. I mean it. See? It's in the perception.