A Proper Diet

I went on a date Sunday. A real date. Man picks woman up at her house, Woman comes downstairs, Man opens car door, Man and Woman dine, Man pays tab, Woman leaves tip (I believe in Cooperation), Man and Woman go to bookstore, Man drives Woman home, Woman thanks Man for Beautiful evening. Man and Woman Good-Night Kiss. Man says,"I'll call you." Woman smiles and responds, "Alright." Woman goes to her domicile, prepares for rest and Dreams Sweetly. Man calls, bbms, texts and Woman wonders, "What the heck did I do so differently to have such a Wonderful Evening when I've been 0 for 3 this year?" Reflective silence. Woman realizes a minute detail...She looked inside her soul one day and said, "What do I like that agrees with my constitution?" She remembered her diet and stuck to it. Simple.

2011. I'd promised myself that this year would be the year I accepted nothing less than the best from Myself. I decided to really focus on goals and their fulfillment, to be selective about the energies I entertained and to be honest about placement and worthiness. I promised I would eat properly, maintain my spirit properly and respect my instincts, feelings and sensibilities. When life presented situations that required acknowledgment and attention, I would comply. No more immediate benefit of the doubt, no more excusing improper behavior and disrespectful treatment. For the most part, I'd done that. In every area except one...guess which?

My birthday was a few weeks ago and I had a beautiful day. Everyone I wanted to hear from called me and all of the wishes I held had come true. My children healthy, my grandmother, and mother, Nana still with me. My dear ones also holding me dear, my Spiritual Court in order and communicating with me. All I could do was say, "Thank You." However, as beautiful as all of this is, I realized I had not taken care of the woman in me. She needed attention too, and all she was being offered was folly.

Initially, I thought it was because I was past my prime, but then I realized it was because I was feeding my heart a diet of processed thoughts and artificial projections. Everything in my life improved other than how I was allowing like, relationship and sensual fulfillment to reveal itself to me. I only realized I was feeding my heart poorly when I noticed how shoddy it looked in comparison to everything else Life, Grace and Self-Effort were revealing, a withering plant in a blossoming garden. I thought about my birthday and although it had passed, I realized I could give my heart a Celebration and in that, rescind the gale of media, naysaying and internalized bashing that had me picking through scraps to find my heart's comfort. I had the perfect opportunity to make myself speak Truth to Power. If I could command my thoughts properly, I would see an immediate change in the world I experienced.

I looked in my closet and threw away clothes that reminded me of slavery, obligation and the expectations of others regarding what a "responsible" woman should wear. I looked in the mirror and instead of shuddering at the sight of new lines and a few grey hairs, I embraced them and found the beauty of my For Real Black Woman. I looked at my pouch and realized it was not too far gone to reflect the zest and enthusiasm I felt for the new adventures that await me. But the most powerful thing of all was looking at myself, seeing the Woman before me and objectively asking, "What does a Man that SHE wants to spend time with look like? What does he do for HIMSELF? What does he notice about HER? How do his actions reflect CONCERN for HER rather than solely forwarding his own agenda?" That was the suggestive statement! With that, I had to look at the men requesting audience through a very different scope and quite as quickly had fallen many. Every beautiful word, loving glance and act of tenderness I gave to myself served to massage the reckless nature of my mind. Each picture I held of a memory, favorite song, or occurring event that was masterfully navigated gave me credibility to Myself and allowed me to realize, "You CAN Trust yourself, now. Life has loved you thoroughly enough to undress itself and reveal its unpredictable nature. It has given you enough time to learn how to adapt. There is nothing you can do that will destroy YOU. There is a body of information to sift through, and in your learning you have come to LOVE this Creature before you as though fashioned by the hands of God Himself. This being the case, you hold your soul and happiness precious. Trust your feelings and Judgement, they are Good and Accurate. You Know YOURSELF." With that, I kissed my own soul not from a place of vanity but a place of understanding and with that, Men began to approach and boys returned to the native nothingness from which they came.

Feed your Self properly...
I'll be on the road, but I will be back next week. Enjoy and Bon Appetit!